The 4 Most Common Signs That You Need Marriage Counseling

Common Signs That You Need Marriage Counseling

Anyone who is married or who has been married can tell you that marriage isn’t always easy. There will be problems, arguments, and hurdles to face. It’s whether you decide to work things out together that will determine if your marriage survives.

While some disagreements can be mended at home between you and your spouse, there are times when an unbiased third party can be helpful. A marriage counselor can help the two of you see the things you can’t or in some cases, don’t want to see.

Here are 4 common signs that you need marriage counseling:

You Become More Like Roommates Than an Actual Married Couple

You share expenses, meals, and sometimes even watch TV together. But, there is no deep conversation or intimacy. For one reason or another, you’ve become more like roommates than a married couple.

If you’re heading off into separate rooms at night, there is no chance for conversation or anything else for that matter. While it’s perfectly fine to have your alone time, too much of it could make the two of you drift further apart. A marriage counselor can help you get down to why your relationship has changed.

You Can’t Seem to Resolve Your Differences

Not liking the way he loads the dishwasher or the way she leaves her hairdryer out on the bathroom counter isn’t really a difference that you need to bring to a marriage counselor; those are more like pet peeves.

Feeling as though you’re not being listened to or continually arguing about the same thing are both issues a marriage counselor can help you figure out.Knowing that you can’t resolve your problems on your own is half the battle. A marriage counselor can help you figure out the root of the problem and help you solve it.In order for this to work, though, both parties have to be willing to talk about the problem.

You Don’t Spend Any Time Together

There was a time when you spent every waking moment together. When you didn’t, you actually missed your partner. Now, you don’t spend any time together and you’re actually okay with it. That’s really not okay if you want to stay married.

Also, the quality of time you spend together compared with the quantity needs to be looked at. If you go out to dinner but are both on your phones the entire time, did you really spend any time together? A marriage counselor can look at your daily routines and schedules and help you carve out quality time together so you can reconnect.

Communication Has Deteriorated and Becomes Negative

Tone of voice and facial expressions play a pivotal role in how you communicate. If you have a less than pleasant tone of voice during every conversation and constantly roll your eyes when the other person speaks, then your communication has definitely taken a turn for the worse. Being on the receiving end of that can make a partner feel depressed, angry, insecure and unwilling to talk anymore. Also ignoring your partner or not speaking at all can spark the same feelings. By seeking a marriage counselor, couples can sort out why the communication deteriorated and more importantly how it can be built up once again.

Remember, both parties need to be committed to fixing the relationship in order for a marriage counseling session to work. Marriage is hard work, and so is repairing a marriage.

4 Things to Know Before You Get Remarried

Things to Know Before You Get Remarried

When it comes to relationships, decisions regarding marriage, divorce, and remarriage are probably some of the biggest you’ll make in your lifetime. Although the saying goes “love conquers all”, sometimes things don’t always end up that way, so it’s important to think things through before saying “I do” once again.Thought the statistics are debated, stats still show that 50% of all marriages in the U.S. end in divorce, while 67% of second marriages end that way too.

With that said,it’s good to learn from past mistakes before tying the knot again. Here are four things you need to know before you get remarried:

Know how to handle conflict. If you’re getting remarried, you know the honeymoon certainly doesn’t last forever. Conflict and disagreements will arise, but knowing how to deal with them can make or break your relationship.

More importantly, knowing how the other person deals with conflict is key. While no one wants to argue, doing so before remarrying can give you insight into whether your partner fights fair. Does he or she run away from their problems or do they try to resolve them? If you see something you don’t like in this department, it may be a red flag not to walk down the aisle.

Know how to be a better partner. Nobody is perfect. Everyone can benefit from knowing how to be a better partner. Some psychologists advise that before you can be a better partner you need to be good to yourself. Another way you can become a better partner is to spend more quality time together. Also, being grateful for each other can help you become a better partner.

Know how to get along with your ex and their ex. If there are children involved on either end, it’s more important than ever that you can get along with your ex as well as your new spouse’s ex. While you all don’t have to be best friends, being civil and maintaining a decent relationship will help everyone. Some people even say they become better friends as an ex rather than as a married couple.

As far as getting along with your spouse’s ex, start off by just being nice. Although that may sound silly, it can make all the difference. Hopefully it’s reciprocated. Also, be sure to set boundaries so there’s no confusion where things stand.

Know how to leave the past in the past. Bring positive energy and a new outlook into your new marriage. Leave behind any problems you had in your previous marriage.

If your ex cheated on you, leave that baggage in the past. Start fresh with your new partner. Remember to only look ahead together, don’t look back!

Best hotel pools in Orange County

Summertime is beach time, but if you’re burned out on the sandy experience, or Mom just needs a break, here are the hotels and resorts in Orange County with the best pools. Check in, spend the night, and have fun!

Hyatt Regency – Huntington Beach

Hyatt Regency

Image: Yelp/Stacy H.

A Pacific hideaway right on the beach, you won’t need to go far from home when visiting the Hyatt Regency Huntington Beach. The views are amazing, and there are three pool areas to choose from: the newly renovated, lagoon-style Mankota’s Pool, Slyders Water Playground, or the peaceful Spa Grotto, a lush garden that features three oversized Jacuzzi® spas.

The kids can check out Camp Hyatt, an activity program exclusively for our guests ages 3-12. Campers will spend their days doing arts & crafts, frolicking on the beach, in the pool and all around our extensive resort, with each day designed around a specific theme.

Montage Laguna Beach

Montage Laguna Beach

Image: Yelp/Ellen M.

Arguably one of the amazing resorts in Southern California, the Montage Laguna Beach has it all: location, luxury, a fabulous pool, and an exclusive feel. The mosaic pool has gorgeous tile mosaic of the sun on the floor, and spectacular views that you won’t forget.

While this is probably more of an adult getaway, a separate pool for children is next to the main pool, as well as a hot tub. Complimentary books and headsets can be borrowed while lounging by the pool, if you forgot to bring your own!

St. Regis Monarch Beach

St. Regis Monarch Beach

Image: Monarch Beach Resort/Facebook

Perched on a hillside overlooking the azure waters of the Pacific, the Monarch Beach Resort has 3 different pools to meet everyone’s need. The largest is the stunning Ocean pool, with luxurious cabanas, if you’re so inclined. There is also the family-oriented Lagoon Pool, which features a wading section for younger swimmers and a jacuzzi for the rest of the family. If you’re looking for a workout, check out the heated lap pool that has three lanes with underwater music.

The Resort at Pelican Hill

The Resort at Pelican Hill

Image: The Resort at Pelican Hill/Facebook

The Resort at Pelican Hill is the epitome of luxury on 504 acres of unrivaled coastal beauty. The Coliseum Pool is a perfect circle 136 feet in diameter, with a very Romanesque feel. While adults will love this lavishness, if your kids find it boring, you can check them in to Camp Pelican.

Camp Pelican is designed for kids age 4-12, and has its own Children’s Pool with umbrellas, chaise lounges, bubble jet fountain and sand play areas, plus lots of other fun activities!

The Waterfront Beach Resort

The Waterfront Beach Resort

Image: Mekayla L./Yelp

You’ll love the tropical setting of the pool at the Waterfront Beach Resort, right here in Surf City. It’s heated year round, and with the ocean right across the street, this is another pool with spectacular views of the sunset. If the night is cool, jump in the hot tub and soak to your heart’s content.

The forecast is beautiful so soak up the sun and relax at one of Orange County’s best hotel pools!

Costly Mistakes Women Make During Divorce

Costly Mistakes Women Make During Divorce

Deciding to file for divorce is only the beginning of the divorce process. Depending on whether the divorce is contested or not and if there are children involved, the average proceedings can take anywhere from a couple of months to a couple of years.

With that said, there are a lot of things that can happen during that time frame, including making mistakes that can drain your bank account. Here are four expensive mistakes women make during divorce that should be avoided…at all costs.

Dating. Although the marriage may be over in all sense of the word, I recommend holding off on dating until your divorce is final.If you are in a contentious child custody cases, it is especially important that you don’t date, as essentially, whether fair or not, you will be under amicroscope by your ex and his legal team.

If that’s the case, spousal support and other monetary parts of the divorce could be affected. The best advice is to avoid dating until all the I’s have been dotted and all the T’s have been crossed.

Snooping. While it may be tempting to go undercover and snoop on your soon to-be ex-husband, it doesn’t usually go over well in divorce court. These days snooping has become high tech, and in some cases illegal. Some electronic snooping can include reading private e-mails or accessing password protected devices.

These types of actions are considered illegal and have consequences. If you’re going through a divorce and then get caught snooping like this, it can hinder your case. If you suspect some shady behavior on the part of your soon-to-be ex, ask your lawyer about legal ways to obtain information.

Spending too much money. We’ve all heard of retail therapy, but this is not the time to practice it. Increasing debt is frowned upon when going through a divorce; in fact you want to do just the opposite. Divorce can be expensive, especially when you’re uncertain about how long the process can take. Instead of spending any extra money, save it. You never know when you’re going to need it. Wait until the divorce is final and you know how much money you can rely on before going on a shopping spree.

Leaving a digital trail. Social media has added an entirely new element to the world of divorce, one that’s not necessarily welcomed. With so many people taking to Facebook, Instagram and Twitter to document their every move, doing so in divorce could end up costing you, especially if those updates and tweets contradictyour actions or words in your divorce case.

Emails and texts can also be dangerous because they can be admissible in court. Many divorce lawyers advise clients not to email, text, or post anything that they wouldn’t want a judge to read. If you wouldn’t say it in person don’t leave it behind in a digital trail. Along those lines, don’t leave messages or post anything on social media that you might regret later.

In the end, we all know divorce can be costly. Don’t make mistakes that can run up that bill even more and leave your pocketbook empty.

Bankruptcy & Divorce: The Important Things You Need to Know

Finances are the leading cause of stress in a relationship or marriage, and for some, money issues can also be a contributing factor to divorce. When money problems become a major issue, some couples may decide to file bankruptcy to get a clean slate all around. But, before you take action there are a few things you should know.

Should I file for bankruptcy & divorce at the same time?

While all cases involve different circumstances, the short answer most people abide by is no. Many couples heading for divorce are often advised to file for bankruptcy before the divorce. During a divorce assets are divided. When affairs are in bankruptcy proceedings,a freeze is put on assets and property. This gives the bankruptcy court time to sort everything out. But, if you file for divorce and bankruptcy at the same time, you’ll need to wait until the bankruptcy court is done with its job before the divorce can proceed. Doing both at the same time will only delay the divorce process.

What are other reasons couples file for bankruptcy before divorce?

Couples who are on good terms when they decide to divorce may lean towards filing for bankruptcy before divorce. This gives them the advantage of splitting attorney and filing fees. You can also wipe out your joint debts and may even be able to increase your exemption amounts. Don’t forget, any debts incurred while you were married are the responsibility of both parties. So, if your ex doesn’t pay up, you will have to. Also, if your ex files for bankruptcy and you do not, you will be liable for the debt. These are all things to keep in mind when dealing with divorce and bankruptcy.

Should I file for Chapter 7 or Chapter 13 bankruptcy?

Chapter 7 bankruptcy is usually a quicker process. Chapter 7 eliminates all dischargeable debt between 3 and 6 months, clearing the way for divorce proceedings. Chapter 13 bankruptcy does not completely eliminate debt. Rather, it sets up a payment plan (usually 3-5 years). This can drag out divorce proceedings. Ultimately, you need to decide which route is better for your personal situation and I would recommend getting some professional advice on this as well from a bankruptcy attorney.

Will I get rid of all debt once I file for bankruptcy?

No, you will not. Alimony, child support, student loans and any attorney fees related to child custody cases are among the most common nondischargeable debts. The best way to determine whether your debts are dischargeable is to meet with a bankruptcy attorney and go through all of your information.

Can my divorce attorney also represent us in our bankruptcy case?

No. You and your spouse cannot be represented by the same divorce attorney if you decide to file for bankruptcy; this is due to a conflict of interest.

Many people file bankruptcy before divorce to relieve some of the stress that goes along with both proceedings. By dealing with the financial aspects first, you can concentrate on other issues. Before deciding which route to take first, consult an attorney who can review all of your information and guide you towards the right path.

5 Tips for a Happier Life After Divorce

5 Tips for a Happier Life After Divorce

Divorce is a life-changing event. But, it doesn’t have to be one that changes your life for the worse. Studies show men and women are actually happier after their divorce. Makes sense really; the trick is to find your happy place and figure out how to get there.

Think about the challenge like climbing a mountain. You see the top and you know you want to get to it. You know you can get there. Through hard work and probably some trial and error you’ll reach the peak. Finding happiness after divorce is much like that. After divorce, you can reach your peak happiness. Take a look at these suggestions to get you on your way.

Give yourself time to grieve. Just as you grieve when someone dies, you need to grieve your marriage because in essence it has died too. According to Divorce Magazine.com, there are seven stages to grieving after divorce. They include denial, pain & fear, anger, bargaining, guilt, depression, and ultimately acceptance. Once you work through these stages at your own pace, your happy place will be that much closer.

Practice being grateful. At first, some people may find it impossible to feel grateful for getting a divorce. However, though your marriage didn’t work, there are things in your life that are working. Psychologists advise to focus on these things rather than the negative. By focusing on the positive things you’ll start feeling more energetic and happier.

Forget blame & regret. As you’re taking the time to be grateful, you need to forget the blame and regret that goes along with any divorce. The decision of divorce has been made and regretting it will only make things worse. Therapists suggest making a list of your regrets to help let them go. Once you’ve done this, they say the next step is to find a silver lining in each of those regrets. Finally, focus on your strengths so you can change and grow as a person.

Start dreaming & planning for the future. Part of moving on is to make plans for the future. Was there something in your marriage that was holding you back from your dream job or dream trip? If so, start making plans to dust off those dreams to make them a reality. It is never too late to follow your dreams or make new plans for the future.

Find something new to embrace. Part of planning for your new future may include finding a new hobby or activity to embrace; think of it as reinventing yourself. This is Act Two of your life — make it something worthwhile.

Part of finding something new to embrace may mean looking into your past. Was there a hobby you gave up once you got married? Go back to it. If you’re having trouble finding out what new thing you may want to try out, look at activities in your community or flip through some magazines for inspiration.

Look at your divorce with the cup half full rather than half empty. This will help you discover a new life… a new and happy life!

The Most Peaceful Spots Around Orange County

Peaceful Spots Around Orange County
Photo: Lake Shrine

From breathtaking beach towns to big name amusement parks, Orange County is bustling with activity. We’re not L.A. (that’s good!) but being just about an hour away means traffic, city noise, and all the stress that goes along with those things.

But, what tourists and locals may not realize is that there are also peaceful parts to Orange County. These spots can provide a calming oasis to the daily grind, so if you’re feeling like you need a peaceful place to get away from it all, here are my picks:

Oak Canyon Nature Center

Oak Canyon Nature Center
Photo: Yelp/Jessica S.

Located in the Anaheim hills, the Oak Canyon Nature Center offers 58 acres of natural park space to enjoy. Whether you want to take a short walk and sit and enjoy nature or are looking for a more invigorating hike, the Oak Canyon Nature Center is a great choice. No skateboards, bicycles or pets are allowed, so there is nothing to stand in your way of much-needed peace and tranquility. The park grounds and trails are open every day from sunrise to sunset.

Lake Shrine in Pacific Palisades

Lake Shrine in Pacific Palisades
Photo: Lake Shrine

Lake Shrine is part of the Self-Realization Fellowship that was founded by Paramahansa Yogananda. The goal here is to find peace of heart and mind. When you visit, you can spend time in the lakeside Meditation Garden; this is a place people come to for reflection and quiet prayer.

If you’re not into meditation, you can enjoy the beauty of the lake and gardens as you walk the peaceful paths. There are benches where you can sit and rest; remember to silence your phone and leave loud conversations behind.

Oh, and if you happen to be farther south, there is also a Self-Realization Fellowship in Encinitas that has internationally renowned gardens offering a diversity of colorful plants, meditation nooks, koi ponds, and spectacular ocean vistas!

El Dorado Nature Center in Long Beach

El Dorado Nature Center
Photo: El Dorado Nature Center/Facebook

Offering a natural habitat, the El Dorado Nature Center in Long Beach is located near the San Gabriel River and the 605 Freeway. It’s a little piece of nature in the middle of the city! Two miles of dirt trails and a ¼ mile paved trail wrap around two lakes and a stream. There are several great spots to just sit and take in all that nature has to offer. The 105 acres that the Nature Center is situated upon also offers a sanctuary for plant and animal life. If you want to learn more you can also check out the Visitor Center on site.

Fullerton Arboretum

Fullerton Arboretum
Photo: Fullerton Arboretum/Facebook

The Fullerton Arboretum boasts 26 acres of green space. Here you will find a museum and thousands of varieties of plant life, making it the largest botanical garden in Orange County. The Fullerton Arboretum is located on the California State University Fullerton campus.Stroll one of the many well-designed paths, and then take a break on a bench to take in all of the natural and beautiful sites. You can literally stop and smell the flowers!

With all the hustle and bustle that comes in everyday life, it’s nice to just give yourself a time out every now and again. Any one of these peaceful spots in Orange County will do the trick, giving your body and soul a mini-vacation.

The Role of Social Media in Divorce

Social Media in Divorce - Facebook on Smartphone

Marriage is difficult; add social media to the mix and it takes the issue to an entirely different level. While many of us turn to social media to stay connected to family and friends, social media can also serve as a third-party in many relationships, one that can lead to separation and divorce.

A study done by British law firm, Slater and Gordon, found that one in four married people would consider divorce because of how their spouses were acting on various social media sites. Perhaps what’s even more disturbing is that another 17 percent said they argue on a daily basis over their spouse’s social media antics. This sounds more like anti-social media than anything else.

Finances

When enough bickering and disagreement eventually leads to divorce, the role of social media doesn’t end. In fact, social media shares can be used as evidence when it comes to alimony, child support, and other divorce-related issues. For example, you may tell your spouse you have no money to pay alimony or child support while posting a picture on Facebook of you on a fun (expensive!) vacation. Ouch!

Here’s something else to consider. Just because you may not be posting about your personal life, doesn’t mean your friends aren’t. If your friends post about the long weekend in the Hamptons you all had while you complain you’re broke, chances are you’ll end up in hot water. They may either tag you or have mutual friends with your ex meaning that those pictures will get back to him or her eventually.

Social Media as Evidence

If you think divorce lawyers aren’t using posts like those in their cases, think again. A study found 80% of lawyers in the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers use evidence from Facebook in litigation. It makes you think twice about what you share and what is shared about you on social media.

It’s not just Facebook that is being used in divorce cases. Information from professional sites like LinkedIn can also influence a case. One divorce lawyer from Texas says a LinkedIn profile referenced a side business that was never noted in the case. This meant his client could ask for and get more child support than was previously requested.

Custody Issues

Besides the monetary aspects of divorce, social media can also play a role in custody issues. While custody issues are complicated at face value, posts and pictures that portray a parent in a negative light are never going to help a case. Partying and drunk pictures are not going to sit well with a judge who is ruling on whether a parent should have full custody of their child. Not taking and posting those pictures, better yet, not participating in such behavior is probably a better decision when going through divorce and custody battles.

Your Digital Footprint

While current posts may hurt your case, so may past posts. If you think deleting accounts with that information will solve your problems, think again. Deleting accounts is actually considered destroying evidence and may lead to a lawyer being sanctioned. You have to always remember once you share something on social media it’s out there for the whole world to see…today, tomorrow, and forever.

If you are going through a divorce or custody issue the best advice is to stay off of social media. Don’t add more fuel to the fire and don’t give your ex more evidence to use against you. In the end, social media is more your enemy than your friend during divorce. That’s a status update you can like and share.

 

Best Waterfront Restaurants in Orange County

Driftwood Kitchen Restaurant in Laguna Beach, CA
Photo: Driftwood Kitchen website

Sunny Orange County boasts miles of beautiful beaches to enjoy. Along the sand and surf, there are also waterfront restaurants that combine mouthwatering food with scenic views like none other. How do you sort out the best from the rest?

Here are five of the best to keep on your radar when you’re looking for a great meal with an amazing view:

The Deck

Burgers at The Deck Restaurant in Laguna Beach, CA
Photo: The Deck Facebook Page

Located in Laguna Beach, this waterfront restaurant is “decked out” when it comes to fresh seafood, refreshing cocktails, and of course, ocean views. What’s more relaxing than enjoying a cocktail and a meal by the water?

Besides fresh seafood plates like steamed clams and mussels, The Deck also offers meat dishes like The Mediterranean Branzino Filet. This meal is served with a celery root puree and a shaved fennel and arugula salad. Pair it with a signature cocktail like The California Cooler and you’ve got yourself a winner. The Deck is open Monday-Sunday from 11a.m. -10p.m.


Driftwood Kitchen

Just a few steps down from The Deck in Laguna Beach is Driftwood Kitchen. Breathtaking views of the Pacific are always on the menu here along with a variety of breakfast, lunch, and dinner favorites. Start your morning off right while you watch the waves crash and enjoy a Laguna Beach Omelet, made with crab, purple haze goat cheese, and avocado skillet potatoes. The breakfast menu is available daily from 9a.m. – 11a.m.

Stop by for dinner and choose one of the many fresh seafood dishes like the New Bedford Sea Scallops. Driftwood Kitchen is also open for lunch daily as well as Sunday Brunch. It’s always a relaxing time with great food and ocean views.


Watertable

Watertable Restaurant in Huntington Beach, CA
Photo: Watertable Facebook page

Whether you’re a guest at the Hyatt Regency Huntington Beach Resort or are simply looking for a restaurant with a waterfront view and amazing food, Watertable is it. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner are covered here with a menu full of “West coast comfort food with attitude.” What exactly does that include?

Start with a roasted tomato and spinach omelet for breakfast. For dinner, try the Chilean Sea Bass or Lobster Tail cooked the way you like with the sauce and side of your choice. The menu’s versatility is the best! Watertable is located right along the Pacific Coast Highway at the Hyatt Regency Huntington Beach Resort.


Duke’s

Duke's Restaurant in Huntington Beach, CA
Photo: Duke’s Facebook Page

Here’s a fun fact about this Huntington Beach waterfront restaurant. Huntington Beach is best known for its surfing and beach lifestyle, and it was here that Duke Kahanamoku introduced surfing back in 1925. Shortly after that, Huntington Beach became known as Surf City USA. Fast forward a few decades, and the surf’s still up!

Add Duke’s waterfront restaurant to the mix with its Hawaiian style menu and it’s a win-win for everyone. Some of the unique menu items include a Miso Grilled King Salmon. This dish comes with sustainably raised jasmine rice, arugula and squash salad. Be sure to make this stop along the Pacific Coast Highway Tuesday-Sunday for lunch or dinner.


Beachcomber Cafe

Beachcomber Restaurant of Crystal Cove beach in California
Photo: Beachcomber Facebook page

The Beachcomber is located in the heart of Crystal Cove, one of the most beautiful beach areas in Southern California. In order to get to the restaurant, you’ll need to park in the Los Trancos parking lot located on the east side of the Pacific Coast Highway. From here you can either take the 10-minute walk or hop on a shuttle for a small fee.

Once you get to the Beachcomber look for items like the Real Deal Clam Chowder and Lobster Linguini Pasta; if you’re in the mood, try their fabulous Bloody Mary! Enjoy scenic beach views whether you visit for breakfast, lunch or dinner; you can’t get any closer to the beach than this!


Orange County is full of so many great restaurants that the hardest part is choosing just one! Take this list with you the next time you’re in the neighborhood and want a taste of Orange County.

New California Law Defines Date of Separation

Cute Dog Sitting by Front Door

A new California law went into effect on January 1st of this year that amended the Family Code to allow for a couple to be considered “living separate and apart” while still living under the same roof for purposes of establishing a date of separation as a precursor of divorce. This Senate bill also applies retroactively to all divorce cases that are still pending as of January 1st, 2017.

Specifically, Senate Bill 1255 adds new California Family Code Section 70. Section 70(a) maintains that date of separation means the date that a complete and final break in the marital relationship has occurred, as evidenced by the two following facts: (1) the spouse has expressed his or her intent to end the marriage to the other spouse; and (2) the conduct of the spouse is consistent with his or her intent to end the marriage.

The amended code also contains wording of SB 1255’s intent to revoke the decisions In re Marriage of Davis (2015) 61 Cal.4th 846 [which held that there is no date of separation where parties still live together] and In re Marriage of Norviel (2002) 102 Cal.App.4th 1152 [which held that date of separation requires an intent to terminate the marriage and actual physical separation].

If all of that is too wordy for you, you’re not the only one! Basically the California Family Code used to say that spouses had to be “living separate and apart” in order to define a date of separation. Now, that requirement has been removed and the defining date of separation does not have to mean that one of the spouses has moved out of the house.

There are many reasons why couples who have decided to divorce choose to live under the same roof. Sometimes, they are arguing over who will stay in the home (and making a statement by not moving). Other times someone (usually the husband) is reluctant to move out before the custody arrangement and financial agreement is drawn up.

The most common reason why couples continue living under the same roof after separating, though, is because it is incredibly expensive to maintain two households – especially in California — and the divorcing couple simply cannot afford to do that. So, they consider themselves separated (by actions) and continue to live in the same house.

Back to the date of separation. Here are a few quick thoughts as to why the date of separation is important, especially when you are living under the same roof:

  • Your date of separation is used to determine each spouse’s community and separate property interests. Once you are separated, your community property rights stop.
  • The date of separation in California divorce is a key factor in deciding the award of long-term spousal support, as it determines the length of the marriage.

If you and your spouse are considering separating, or are separated and living in your home together, feel free to contact me with any questions you might have.