Five Mistakes That Can Be Deadly to Your Marriage

Marriage Mistakes

While every marriage is different, certain common mistakes often lead to divorce. If you recognize any of these or are guilty of any of them yourself, you may want to reevaluate your marriage.

Infidelity

For many people, infidelity is a deal-breaker. Once that trust is broken, it can take a long time for it to be rebuilt (if it ever is). While the partner who had an affair may be apologetic and want to work on the marriage, the other partner may have trouble ever trusting their spouse again. They may believe that if their spouse cheated once, there is a likelihood that they will do it again. Uncertainty about fidelity can lead to divorce.

Showing Contempt for Your Partner

When one partner has contempt for their partner, things are not going to end well. It may have been something the partner did or it could just be a change of feelings. If your partner constantly mocks you, calls you names, rolls their eyes at you or just turns their nose in disgust, they are showing contempt for you. This type of behavior can hurt a person’s self-esteem and can also be a form of emotional abuse. It is disrespectful and not part of what a good marriage should look like. Once this type of behavior begins it can be hard to break.

Not Accepting Your Partner’s Differences

Just because you’re married, it doesn’t mean you and your spouse have to do everything the same and think the same. Instead of looking at these differences as problems, you should accept them. You can still be married and do things differently. When you begin to look at the differences between you and your spouse as problems that need to be fixed, it can lead to divorce.

Criticizing Your Partner

When you criticize your partner, you make them feel as though there is something wrong with them. While you can tell your partner you don’t like what they’re doing or don’t agree with them, you shouldn’t verbally attack them. Using phrases like, “why are you so…” or “you always…” makes the other person feel as though they are being attacked. Instead, you should say things like, “I felt….when this happened.” This way, you are still expressing your feelings, but you’re not doing it critically.

Withdrawing During Conflict

When you or your partner withdraws during times of conflict, that is considered shutting down. When this happens, your partner thinks that they’re the cause of the problem. While the person withdrawing may be doing so because they’re emotionally overwhelmed, it doesn’t always come off that way. Instead, it appears as being standoffish, arrogant, and disinterested.

Also, when you shut down, you give off the signal that you’re not interested in resolving the conflict, and this can result in even more conflict.

If you notice any of these behaviors in yourself or your partner, you may want to examine them closely and take measures to actively change them. Ignoring them or assuming they’ll go away will not help the problem and will only make things worse.

What You Need to Know About Emotional Infidelity

What You Need to Know About Emotional Infidelity

When you think about infidelity, you may only think about the physical aspect. But emotional affairs can be just as hurtful, if not more.

What is Emotional Infidelity?

Emotional infidelity happens when one person in a marriage develops a strong emotional bond with someone who is not their spouse. This type of relationship usually starts off as a platonic friendship. But, through spending time with one another and sharing things about their lives, these friends create a strong emotional bond which can put stress on a marriage.

Those who are guilty of having an emotional affair often share more with another person than they do with their spouse; this leaves them with nothing left to give their spouse emotionally. Unlike a platonic friendship, most of the time those involved also keep this strong emotional relationship a secret.

Besides a strong emotional bond, there is often an underlying attraction and chemistry. That’s why these instances of emotional infidelity often evolve into a sexual relationship and affair.

Warning Signs of an Emotional Affair

How can you tell if your spouse is having an emotional affair? Could you be having an emotional affair and not really be aware of it? Here are some telltale signs to look out for.

  • Withdrawal from your spouse
    You no longer share intimate details of your life or engage in meaningful conversation.
  • Not interested in a sexual relationship with your spouse
    Since all of your emotions are wrapped up in another person, you have nothing left to give your spouse, emotionally or physically.
  • You constantly think about the other person and highly anticipate the next time you’ll see or speak to them.
    While you may look forward to seeing or speaking to your friends, your interest in this other person surpasses all other relationships and friendships.
  • You feel as though this other person understands you better than your spouse.
    You may have felt as though your spouse was the only person that understood you. Now, you no longer feel this way and wonder if you ever will.
  • You buy/receive gifts from this person.
    Giving gifts for a birthday or holiday is one thing. But, the relationship takes on an entirely different level when you want to give “just because” gifts. This could signal emotional infidelity.
  • You or your spouse is always busy.
    If you or your spouse are constantly busy and never have time for one another, there could be something else going on behind the scenes. All of the time you’re suddenly not spending together may be spent with someone else.

How to Cope with Emotional Infidelity

Emotional infidelity hurts so much because a bond has been broken. The intimate bond you once only shared with your spouse is now being shared with someone else and it can take a long time to heal from this kind of pain. If you and your partner decide you want to work past the emotional infidelity and rebuild your marriage, here are some ways to get back on track.

Let go of the past. While it may be difficult to forget the actions of your spouse, you need to if you want to move on. Let go of the past hurt and don’t constantly bring up the emotional infidelity.

Be patient. Just like the emotional affair didn’t blossom overnight, your revived relationship will also take time to redevelop; realize this and be patient.

Invest in your marriage again. For some people this means seeing a therapist, for others, it just means taking steps to rebuild your bond. Start trusting and confiding in your partner again. Make time to go out and enjoy each other.

In order to cope and move past emotional infidelity, both parties need to be completely invested. If only one partner is committed, the relationship will not be able to be rebuilt.

5 Painful Traps Every Stepparent Should Avoid

5 Painful Traps Every Stepparent Should Avoid

When you’re in a marriage where stepchildren are involved, the relationship takes on a new dynamic. There are not only more people to consider, but also more relationships and situations to deal with on a daily basis. While this may cause stress, it doesn’t have to if you’re prepared and know how to handle certain situations.

Here are some stepfamily traps that often come up and tips to avoid them from happening in your home.

Letting your child disrespect your partner (who is not the parent)

Just because your partner is not the biological parent of your child doesn’t mean your child doesn’t have to show respect. Explain to your child that just as they want to be treated with respect, so does your partner. Respect goes a long way on both sides.

Disciplining your stepchild

Discipline is a slippery slope because while your children need to follow rules, every family has different opinions when it comes to discipline by a stepparent. Usually, the biological parent is left to do the disciplining. If a stepparent crosses boundaries too early, they run the risk of ruining a relationship before it even gets off the ground and being resented by the stepchild. Having an open discussion about what’s expected from you as a stepparent when it comes to discipline will help to avoid any awkward situations. The biological parent should also explain the rules clearly to their child so they understand that mom or dad is on board.

Trying to act like the mother (or father)

Regardless of whether your partner separated due to divorce or death, you should never try to take the place of the other parent. What you can do instead is to realize that you will still have an important role in the child’s life without trying to act like the mother or father. Don’t insist they call you “mom” or “dad” either. This will lead them to resent you. Rather, let them do things at their own pace. If they decide to call you by that name down the road, it will be their choice.

Getting involved in arguments between your stepchild and your spouse

As a stepparent, you want to avoid getting in the middle of arguments between your stepchild and spouse. If you side with your partner, your stepchild will feel as though you’re ganging upon him. If you side with the child, your partner may also feel the same way and may think you are trying to gain points with their child. Either situation is one you don’t want to be in. Sit back and let them work things out. Everyone will be better for it in the long run.

Not discussing family ground rules with your spouse

Discussing ground rules with your spouse can help you to avoid future arguments. Talk about how the house will operate, who is responsible for what, and what is regarded as “family time” and what is “couple time”. While this may sound business-like and not like a discussion you would have with a partner, these rules are important to layout and discuss. Often, each partner will have a set of rules in mind but will never verbalize them. So, when things don’t go the way they envisioned, they get angry. Having a clear picture of what is expected can help clear up any miscommunication before it starts.

Remember, becoming a stepfamily will come with its issues, but if you keep the lines of communication open you can become a strong family that respects and cares for one another and has fun!

The Best Luxury Spa Experiences in Orange County

There’s nothing like a luxury spa treatment to make you feel relaxed and rejuvenated. In Orange County, there are several spas that will pamper you like royalty. Let’s take a look at where you can find these spas and the luxurious treatments that you’ll want to put on your list.

Spa Montage

Spa Montage is located at the Montage Hotel in Laguna Beach, a resplendent seaside retreat nestled along the rugged California Coastline. Spa Montage offers everything from facials to massages to nail care and even organic treatments. Enjoy the oceanfront, adults-only, spa lap pool, or settle in and unwind inside the relaxation room. You can also enjoy the cold plunge, sauna, waterfall whirlpool, steam room and oceanfront fitness center.

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Image: yelp.com/spa montage laguna beach

If you’re looking for something unique, try the Seven Flower Ritual for the ultimate in relaxation. Choose from a 90 minute or 2-hour treatment that includes a soothing massage followed by a dried petal dusting and body buff. Enjoy a warm softening wrap for your body while you receive a cool crystal quartz face massage. The petals are washed away by cascading water; the result is soft and beautiful skin.

Try this or any other treatment at Spa Montage Laguna Beach.

The Spa at Pelican Hill

Located within The Resort at Pelican Hill at 22701 South Pelican Road in Newport Coast, The Spa at Pelican Hill offers much more than your basic facials and massages. Choose from a unique variety of facial massage services or dive into a totally relaxing experience with fitness and wellness classes.

There’s even a full-service salon to take care of your beauty needs. Choose a day of wellness to invigorate the mind, body, and spirit with a workout, exclusive spa treatments, delicious meals, and plenty of down time to just relax.

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Image: yelp.com/Spa at Pelican Hill

If you truly want to indulge, try the Zen Awakening Experience. This features a full-body massage, hot oil scalp ritual, ultra-hydrating quench body wrap with a full-body sea salt and Shea butter scrub. This 100-minute treatment is surely one you’ll never forget. The Spa at Pelican Hill was recently named the #1 Spa in California by Conde Nast Traveler.

Spa Gregories

Escape to an oasis at Spa Gregories at 200 Newport Center Drive in Newport Beach. Spa Gregories was voted Best Day Spa by American Spa Magazine, Day Spa Magazine City Search, and SpaFinder. Enjoy an extensive list of spa services from deep tissue massage to a special Superfruit Facial that is a revolutionary service meant to revitalize the skin.

You can also take advantage of yoga classes, aromatherapy, and an infrared sauna. Besides typical spa services, Spa Gregories also does waxing, electrolysis, microdermabrasion and lash extensions, among other treatments.

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Image: yelp.com/Spa Gregories

Spa Gregories also offers unique experiences such as its Ancient Royal Bathing Ritual. During this treatment, you are surrounded by candles as you sit in a bath of milk and honey. Inspired by the Queen of Sheba, this bath of hydrotherapy relaxation is topped off with a one-hour massage.

Ritz Carlton Laguna Nigel Spa

Take luxury to new heights at the Ritz Carlton Laguna Nigel Spa and try unique spa treatments that you won’t find anywhere else. Enjoy a Coastal Illuminating Facial specifically tailored to your needs or a Pacific Wave massage that utilizes Ashiatsu barefoot massage techniques. There is also a variety of other massages, body scrubs, facials, manicures and pedicures for both men and women.

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Image: yelp.com/Ritz Carlton

For something really special, create balance and well-being with the Laguna Wellness Experience. This treatment incorporates skin brushing, massage, a collagen facial mask, and slimming body wrap to leave your skin hydrated and detoxified. Customized massage techniques use powerful anti-oxidants to restore hydration to the skin. When your treatment is over, a feeling of harmony will sweep over your body.

The Ritz Carlton Laguna Nigel Spa is located at One Ritz-Carlton Drive in Dana Point.

Miraval Life in Balance Spa

From facials to body treatments to massages and day packages, the Miraval Life in Balance Spa at the Monarch Beach Resort offers a luxurious experience to replenish the body and soul. A variety of massages are available including assisted stretching and Miraval’s signature Monarch massage that brings gentle massage strokes from head to toe. Rejuvenating facials help to give facial skin new life, leaving it radiant and healthy. There are also yoga classes, meditation, and many fitness classes available.

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Image: yelp.com/Miraval Life in Balance Spa

At Miraval Life in Balance Spa, the Sea Salt Serenity Body Ritual is highly recommended. This two-hour experience includes a refining sea salt and oil scrub, and a massage using warm crystal salt stones and a combination of essential oils to relax tired muscles. Enjoy a therapeutic scalp massage using a mask rich in apricot kernel oil and watercress as part of the treatment.

Miraval Life in Balance Spa is located at 1 Monarch Beach Resort in Dana Point.

Whichever luxurious spa or treatment you choose, you will leave feeling relaxed, rejuvenated and reinvigorated. Enjoy being pampered!

Do You Need a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®?

Do You Need a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst?

This week, I’m happy to share a guest post from Bart Zandbergen, CFP®, CDFA®. Bart is a Senior Wealth Advisor at Optivest Wealth Management and has some great wisdom to share about the role a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® can play in your divorce. Enjoy!

It’s widely documented that the number one issue that couples fight about is money. When it comes to relationships, money is a hot button; a recent survey by Ramsey Solutions found that fighting over money is the second leading cause of divorce, right behind infidelity.

When it comes to divorce in California, separation of financial assets can be one of the most complicated parts of the divorce process. In this article, we’re going to talk about how a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® (CDFA®) can make your divorce less stressful, and whether you should hire one.

What is a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®

During a divorce, the role of the CDFA® is to help both the client and their lawyer understand how the financial decisions they are making will impact the client’s financial future. A CDFA® is trained and knowledgeable about your state’s divorce laws as well as personal financial planning. Working with a financial divorce expert helps allay financial fears because we can help preserve a family’s finances and ensure a fair, equitable settlement.

Most of the time, a CDFA® is someone who comes from a financial planning background, like me. In addition to my role as a CDFA®, I am also a Certified Financial Planner™ and a Senior Wealth Advisor at Optivest Wealth Management. Becoming a CDFA® requires completing an intensive training program to gain expertise in analyzing and providing expertise related to the financial issues of divorce.

Who Should Hire a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®?

If you are a business owner or have significant property and/or assets, you would benefit from hiring a certified divorce financial analyst. Critical pieces to determining your divorce settlement will be:

  • Valuing assets and debts
  • Valuing your marital home and any additional properties
  • Dividing all retirement and pension accounts
  • Determining the amount and duration of alimony
  • Tax implications of alimony and property division

Benefits of using a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst

As a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®, I become a part of your divorce team and work closely with your lawyer. Here are some of the ways that I can help:

  • Build a complete and accurate picture of your family’s financial dynamic
  • Run models to show the effects of taxes and inflation to determine the best settlement
  • Prepare forecasts to test the proposed settlement options that can serve as a foundation for future investment decisions
  • Provide insight into how long your money should last
  • Help set expectations and provide clarity for your financial future and the type of lifestyle you can afford going forward
  • Provide clarity and help you understand the short- and long-term financial consequences of settlement options
  • Help your lawyer strategize and build creative options to complicated settlement issues

Involving a CDFA® early in the divorce process to help evaluate different settlement and support scenarios can save you valuable time and money. In addition, we can be instrumental in modeling projected rates of return on invested assets, which is information that allows you to make informed decisions on how much and what types of property you may wish to receive in a settlement as well as the amount and duration of support that’s appropriate in their case.

Your divorce settlement will have a critical, long-term impact on your financial future. Including a CDFA®as part of your divorce team to prepare a thorough analysis of your finances and future needs will help prevent you from agreeing to a settlement you’ll later regret.

Questions? Feel free to contact me, or connect with me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, or Twitter.

How to Jumpstart Your Life After Divorce

How to Jumpstart Your Life After Divorce

If you’ve gone through a divorce or are in the process, you know how much of a life-changing event it is. But, are you looking at it as a glass-half-full or half-empty scenario?

By choosing to look at it as a glass-half-full situation, you can empower yourself to jumpstart your life. Although one part of your life may be over, another is about to begin and that within itself is exciting.

Here are some ways to start your new adventure:

Step out of your comfort zone

Now is the best time to give yourself the freedom to try something new. There’s nothing and no one holding you back. Perhaps you’ve made a list of things you’ve always wanted to do but never did for one reason or another. Whatever it is, start at the top of the list and make your way down. Not only will you feel proud of yourself for accomplishing this, but you may also meet new friends in the process.

Rediscover old hobbies

Think about the hobbies you did before you got married. Did you love to paint? Run? Garden? Whatever it is, rediscover it. Sometimes being married and starting a family can make you put your interests on the back burner. If you fall into this category, it’s time to give those old hobbies the attention they deserve. Who knows what could happen when you do?

Hire a career coach

For some, divorce may mean finding a new job to bring in more income or to take that next step up the career ladder. If this is the case, consider hiring a career coach to make the process easier and more successful. A career coach can craft your résumé, guide you to where to look for the jobs you want, and help you with the interview process. If you want a career change, a career coach can also help you decide what types of jobs may suit you best. Having a go-to person like this on your team will give you the support you need to reach your goals.

Forgive yourself and your ex

If you can’t forgive yourself and your ex, you’re going to have a tougher time moving on. Forgiveness can help you heal the emotional scars that go along with divorce. No matter who may have done what, forgive yourself and your ex so that you can both move on. Nobody is perfect. Cut yourself some slack so that you can begin the healing process. If you dwell on past mistakes you won’t be able to move forward. It might seem difficult to do, but you might be amazed at how freeing it actually is!

See a therapist

Finding a therapist you can trust and confide in can also help you move on. Talking about your issues and getting honest answers and guidance is key for many people. Although you may talk to your friends and family, a therapist can give you the unbiased opinions that you need to get the clarity to jumpstart your life.

Take a girls trip

Over the past few years, there’s been a new trend in travel…divorce vacations. Rather than sitting around and being sad, many women are setting their sights on a fun vacation to celebrate the next chapter in their lives. Why not bring your best girlfriends along? Perhaps you have several bucket list destinations. There’s no time like the present to choose one and get moving. A dream vacation with your best girlfriends can give you the perspective you need to move on.

Take one of these tips and run with it or try all of them. Whatever you decide, remember you’re in the driver’s seat and it’s time to jumpstart your life starting now!

Orange County Spring Break Staycations

Orange County Spring Break Staycations

Image: facebook.com/Sycuan casino resort

If you’re looking for something to do for spring break close to home this year, look no further. There are plenty of places in Orange County or within a very short drive that check all the right boxes when it comes to a successful spring break location.There’s no rule that you need to add a stamp to your passport to have a fun and relaxing spring break!

Check out these ideas:

Hyatt Regency Huntington Beach

When it comes to a spring break location, it doesn’t more perfect than right here in Huntington Beach. Add the amenities of the Hyatt Regency and you’ve got it made.

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Image: yelp.com/Cindi P.

The Hyatt Regency is an oceanfront hotel, giving you breathtaking views and the convenience of being right on the beach.

You and your family can enjoy a fun day at the beach or sit back and relax in one of three pool areas, including a children’s water playground with three slides. The hotel also offers Camp Hyatt for children ages 3-12. Daily activities include arts and crafts, scavenger hunts and fun pool games. If you want to have some fun outside the resort, there are plenty of options, includingwhale watching, kayaking or paddle boarding in Huntington Harbour, and checking out Huntington Pier.

Sycuan Casino Resort

If you’re looking for a new spot to try for spring break, the Sycuan Casino Resort in El Cajon could be it.

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Image: facebook.com/Sycuan casino resort

Opening its newly renovated resort in late March 2019, the SycuanCasino Resort can be your luxurious destination for a family staycation. Enjoy a pool and garden area for the kids, including a lazy river. There’s even a pool area dedicated to families.

Although the kids can’t roam the gaming area because you need to be 21 years and old for entry, they can enjoy the pool and beautiful grounds. If you’re lucky enough to bring a sitter along, there is plenty of gaming and entertainment for adults.

Close by are other activities like hiking, hot air balloon rides, and the Palomar Observatory.

Disney’s Grand Californian

For many people, it’s a case of you had me at Disney! Spring break can be fun for the whole family at Disney’s Grand Californian Hotel and Spa.

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Image: yelp.com/Diana M.

Treat the kids to a Disney Princess Breakfast Adventure for an experience they won’t soon forget and let them swim in the themed pool areas that are complete with a waterslide.

You can also plan an “in room celebration” for your child with Disney goodies and keepsakes for another memorable experience. The hotel also hosts movie nights where popular Disney films are shown.

Located right along S. Disneyland Drive, you and your family can also take advantage of special entrances to Disney California Adventure Park and the Downtown Disney District.

Hotel del Coronado

Located just minutes from downtown San Diego, the Hotel Del Coronado is a beachfront property offering something for guests of all ages.

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Image: yelp.com/hotel coronado

Everyone can enjoy a day at the beach or at one of several pools on the property. If you and the family are headed to the beach, you can rent boogie boards, volleyballs, and much more during your stay.

There are also daily activities specifically for the kids. Children ages 5-12 can enjoy one-hour activities during the day or 3-hour event adventures at the DelVenture activity center. Activities include slime labs, mermaid and pirate camps, and much more.

If you need a babysitter for a night out, an in-room babysitter can be arranged through the concierge. All babysitters are from a licensed, bonded and CPR-certified childcare agency.

Pavilion Hotel on Catalina Island

Catalina Island is so close yet feels like a world away. It’s a great spring break destination, especially when you choose to stay at the Pavilion Hotel. The Pavilion Hotel prides itself on being only 14 steps away from the beach in Avalon.

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Image: yelp.com/Mimi L.

If you’re looking for adventure, hop on a safari bus or book a bison expedition during your stay. You can also paddle board, zipline, or tour the botanical garden. Don’t forget the firepits which are always a great vacation amenity! The hotel does offer free use of a bicycle so you can explore the area during your stay.

Terranea Resort

The Terranea Resort is an oceanfront resort located on the Palos Verdes Peninsula in Rancho Palos Verdes. The beach and pool are always a great option for the kids to play. Take a family coastal nature walk to see the beauty of the peninsula and the beautiful birds in the area through the Falconry meet and greet.

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Image: yelp.com/Chuck D.

The Terranea Resort also offers the Tide Pool Kids Club for kids ages 4-12. Adventure leaders show kids the areas on the beach, at the top of the bluffs and even under the microscope. There are creative activities, sciences experiments, and locally inspired art projects for the kids to enjoy. While the kids are doing all of these activities, mom and dad can relax poolside, visit the spa, or play a round of golf.

If you’re considering the Terranea Resort, be sure to take advantage of the resort’s special spring break offer.
You don’t have to go far to have a fun and relaxing spring break. Just pack up the family and get ready to make memories during your spring break staycation in Orange County!

How to be an amazing stepparent to teens

How to be an amazing stepparent to teens

Being a parent is hard enough but being a stepparent to a teen can be even more challenging. Divorce can shatter a child’s world. Add a new stepparent into the mix of the craziness that comes along with being a teen and you could potentially have a huge headache on your hands.

It doesn’t have to be that way. There are things you can do and not do to become an amazing stepparent to teens and have a harmonious home.

Don’t take it personally. Teens are teens!

If your teenage stepchild isn’t ready to welcome you with open arms, don’t get offended. Remember, they’re not only dealing with raging hormone levels, schoolwork, and relationships but also the fact that their parent has moved on and away from their other parent. Some teens need lots of space and time so they can figure things out. Remember, in their mind, your involvement means their parents won’t get back together. That’s something they need to learn to accept so that they can begin to accept you. At any rate, taking offense at their rejection or distance will likely only make things worse.

Develop trust and honesty.

You start out as a stranger to your new stepchild; they need to learn they can trust you. If you’re fake, your stepchild will sense that from a mile away and likely report back to their parent. Be honest and open, allowing your stepchild to get to know you on their own time and their own terms. The more you push, the more they will push you away. Once they trust you, no matter how long that takes, they may eventually even come to you for advice or to confide in. But don’t expect that; a good, healthy relationship free of conflict is a good goal.

Let your spouse and the teen’s other parent have the hard conversations.

When you become a stepparent one of the hardest parts is learning your role. While your stepchild can certainly come to you to talk and for advice, you shouldn’t be the source for those hard conversations that all parents need to have with their teens. Their biological parents should take the reins there. There’s a good chance that you and your spouse may not have identical opinions on hard or controversial conversations. If that’s the case, you should politely bow out of any discussion to do with that topic.

Don’t discipline. Leave that to your stepkid’s parents.

This goes along the same lines as leaving the hard conversations to the parents. For the most part, it’s a good idea to leave the discipline to them too. If you have been a stepparent for a long time, you might be used to disciplining your stepkids at a young age.

However, as kids enter the teen years, they tend to be less forgiving of their stepparents than they are their biological parents. While the stepparent should probably shy away from discipline, that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to be respected and listened to. If that is happening, that’s another topic of a big conversation that needs to happen between the teen and his parents.

Let them have 1:1 time with your spouse.

You are definitely a big part of your spouse’s life, but so is their child. Just as you have alone time with your spouse, there should also be child-parent alone time too. It’s important for them so that they can have a strong relationship. If you’re always around and don’t let that one on one time happen, they could begin to resent you which isn’t going to benefit anyone.

Keeping these five tips in mind can help you become an amazing stepparent to your teen. Just remember that these types of relationships take time. So don’t give up! It will be worth it in the end.

The Best Rooftop Hideaways for Food and Drink in Orange County

The Best Rooftop Hideaways for Food and Drink in Orange County

Image: yelp.com/business owner

When you’re looking for a good place in Orange County to meet up with friends for food and drinks, you also want one with a breathtaking view to add to your experience. There’s something about having a beautiful backdrop that adds to the ambiance. Here are six rooftop hideaways for food and drink in the OC that you must try!

Skyloft Laguna Beach

Located along the South Coast Highway, Skyloft Laguna Beach is known for its breathtaking view of Laguna Beach’s main beach area.

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Image: yelp.com/Jasmin P.

Check out those ocean views and beautiful landscape! The menu features steaks, seafood, and specialty smokehouse BBQ items. There are also two full bars where you can order from a menu of specialty crafted California cocktails and coastal wines. Enjoy live entertainment from Tuesday through Sunday. There are no reservations accepted for the rooftop deck, so it’s first come, first serve!

Tanner’s at the Pasea Hotel in Huntington Beach

Tanner’s at the Pasea Hotel in Huntington Beach can be found along the Pacific Coast Highway.

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Image: yelp.com/Michael M.

If you want to try great Southern Californian food cooked over a live hot fire, then this is the place. Take advantage of the patio or rooftop bar, also known to many as the Treehouse Lounge, which is located right on top of the hotel. Many people look up from the beach and see the well-known treehouse. There’s a tiki-vibe with cocktails to match, but this is a truly unmatched atmosphere. The panoramic views and creative cocktails and food are a must when you’re in the Huntington Beach area.

Hive and Honey Rooftop Bar

Located on the 16th floor of the Marriott Irvine Spectrum Hotel in Irvine, the Hive and Honey Rooftop Bar on Irvine Center Drive overlooks the area, giving visitors quite a panoramic view.

Image: yelp.com/Shannon A.

Gaze out over Orange County as you sit and relax; the recommended time to go is at dusk to get the most out of your visit with a sunset view. When you’re there you’ll want to try one of several crafted cocktails that all include some form of honey. Hive and Honey has a great vibe combined with light fare, making this a fun place to stop.

180blu in Dana Point

180 blu in Dana Point is luxury at its finest. Located atop the Ritz Carlton, enjoy fine dining as you take in the scenery up the coastline.

The Best Rooftop Hideaways for Food and Drink in Orange County 3

Image: yelp.com/business owner

Sit 150 feet above the Salt Creek Beach as you sip hand-crafted beverages and enjoy small plates cooked by top-notch chefs. Seating ranges from comfy sofas to high-top tables and traditional dining tables, and there’s usually live music on Friday and Saturdays from 4-7p.m. This upscale dining experience is one you won’t soon forget.

Offshore 9 Rooftop Lounge Huntington Beach

Boasting the highest coastal rooftop lounge in Orange County, you can find Offshore 9 Rooftop Lounge Huntington Beach on the 9th floor of The Twin Dolphin Tower at The Waterfront Beach Resort.

The Best Rooftop Hideaways for Food and Drink in Orange County 4

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Expect panoramic views of Orange County and Huntington Beach as you enjoy hand-crafted beverages and small plates. Seating is limited and hours depend on the season so it’s probably best to call ahead. Enjoy fire pits, lounge seating, high-end California champagne, and wines, as well as coastal-inspired farm to table dishes. With its front row ocean view and an exquisite menu of food and drinks, Offshore 9 Rooftop Lounge is a must visit in Huntington Beach!

Topside Newport Beach

Topside has the distinction of being the only rooftop bar in Newport Beach.

The Best Rooftop Hideaways for Food and Drink in Orange County 5

Image: yelp.com/ Nine S.

Located atop the Lido House Hotel on Newport Boulevard, you can sip on various champagne pairings and creative cocktails as you enjoy gorgeous views of Newport Beach. But, if you plan on visiting, leave the beach gear and flip-flops at home; there is a dress code — that means collared shirts and no tank tops. Also, hours vary with the season, so it’s always best to check before you go.

These rooftop hideaways make for a memorable day or night out with fantastic views and food and drink to match.

Everything You Need to Know About a High Net Worth Divorce

Everything You Need to Know About a High Net Worth Divorce

Couples who have a high net worth and decide to divorce usually face a lengthy process which can be extremely contentious and involve many complex legal issues.

What is a High Net Worth Divorce?

A high net worth divorce is typically one that involves more than one million dollars in net worth liquid assets. If you fall into this category then you may have to deal with issues you wouldn’t otherwise have to.

High Net Worth Divorce Issues

The existence of a large amount of money and assets can present some unique challenges when you’re going through a divorce. Here are some things to prepare for:

Your divorce may take longer. Splitting complex assets in a high net worth divorce can be a lengthy process. When you own multiple homes or properties, several vehicles, and a yacht, you can anticipate that your divorce proceedings may take a bit longer. Not only does the value of all assets need to be determined, but it also needs to be determined which are joint assets and which are personal. As you can imagine, there are bound to be disagreements in these areas, leading to longer and more expensive court proceedings. Couples are often encouraged to try to come to an agreement about assets beforehand to make the process go smoother.

Property and investment values need to be determined. In addition to what was listed above, there may also be complicated evaluations of other assets, such as investments, intellectual property, stocks, retirement accounts, unvested interests, and high-value collections. Valuation experts are often called upon to analyze all assets and will document their findings. Sometimes they will also be asked to testify in court. The goal is to divide assets as evenly as possible, although in some cases one party is not satisfied.

You may need a business valuation. Things get even more complicated when business ownership is involved, and that asset that needs to be divided in some form. In order for this to happen, the value of the business needs to be determined. Many times both parties will hire experts to value the business and then testify about their findings in court. This will help determine how much the business is worth and how it should be divided.

You may need a forensic accountant. When large amounts of money and bitter parties are involved, sometimes one or both parties are tempted to hide assets from their spouse, so they benefit financially and get some revenge on their spouse. When this is suspected, it can be beneficial to hire a forensic accountant. Forensic accountants are trained to investigate finances to see if there is money being hidden. Hiding assets in a divorce is illegal, and in today’s electronic world, not as simple as it might have been in years past.

It’s also important to note that if you believe your spouse is hiding assets in your divorce, it is imperative that you discuss the matter with an attorney who has experience in uncovering hidden assets in a lawful manner. Do not try to go about it on your own as this can have lasting implications in your divorce.

If you anticipate going through a high net worth divorce, be sure to do your homework so you know what battles you may be facing. Know that it most likely won’t be cut and dry. Hire an attorney who is experienced in handling high net worth divorces so that you get the best possible outcome.